and i move on.

  

photo i took of the tetons in may 2012

it's these days in the dead of winter that are longer and have more daylight that i find my life coming into real perspective.

i don't have much else to focus on, since the below-freezing temperatures give limited options in every category of everything.

but i've realized that when you catch a glimpse of just how big this world really is, and just how small you really are in comparison, life gets better.

i'm just one of these 6.5 billion specs, scattered across this beautiful earth.

and for some reason, when i realize just how small, how minute, how microscopic i really am, in the scheme of things... i feel better.

there are bigger problems.

my struggles are not the end-all.

and things aren't so bad.

things are actually really amazing.

miracles, sometimes.

and i move on.

my week via iphone

 

< my two favorites

> an ode to my husband, since he started school last week / disappeared (they are the same thing)

< a bunch of old fashioned sodas found their way into our fridge. and my belly...

> cooper embarrassed face (which is a lie. because i've seen cooper legit embarrassed face and it's so sad and adorable and makes you want to cuddle him and tell him it's okay)

 

< snuggs with my pup

> when these girls come into town, it's all giggles. i love them (not pictured: their awesome little brother who got stitches on this same trip due to an unfortunate face-to-humidifier collision)

 

< girls night with amanda and chloe always ends with giant diet cokes and sweet tooth fairy. it's the way it's always been, and it's the way it better always be!

> we broke down and got cooper a real bed! only to be used under supervision (which means it is in our room, and for nighttime sleeping only.)

 

< two peas in a pod. cooper followed addi around all night and she loved every second of it!

> he followed me around all day sunday. wouldn't leave me side. must have known i didn't feel good. he's a saint.

 

< reason #847 why i love chick-fil-a: their drinks come in styrofoam cups by default. you don't have to ask for it that way.

> lately, cooper will only eat his food if i dump it on the floor. but he won't just eat it. he will play with it forever. pouncing, barking, tackling, whining - it's hilarious and adorable.

that's all, folks.

happiness is...

 

> > the perfectly sized portion that is a small pork salad from costa vida, and pebble ice in my diet coke

> > scoring the perfect black cardigan (it's a staple. and perfect ones are hard to come by.)

> > coming home to a quiet, dark house. as much as i love my boys, it's nice when they're still at the dog park when i get home so i have a few minutes to wind down.

> > devin had a really great day at work and is doing some really great things with the team building program at momentum as a facilitator

> > my cuddly, sweet puppy (as always)

> > devin reading my mind about dinner plans (belgian waffles with fresh fruit, and bacon)

sincerely, me

Dear Tuesdays and Thursdays,

     You've swallowed my husband. I never see him when you're around.

      I don't think we can be friends anymore.

Dear Weather, 

      What's a girl gotta do to get some above freezing temperatures around here?

      P.S. Will I ever remember what warm weather feels like? 

Dear New York City, 

     I'm falling in love with you.

     Let's get together. Soon.

Dear Dog Park, 

     Thank you for giving my puppy endless entertainment

     and lots of friends. But you also make him stinky.

Dear "How I Met Your Mother", 

     I have no idea why we didn't meet sooner.

     You're legendary. 

Dear cooper, 

     Never grow up.

Dear Camping,

     I miss you. I could totally use a little bit of you

     right now. Let's meet up once the weather cooperates.

Dear Diet Coke, 

     Thank you for fueling my bad days... and my good ones.

      I don't think I'll ever quit you.

Dear Laundry, 

     Do yourself.

     P.S. Tell the dishes the same.

Dear Cold from Hates, 

    Nobody invited you. Go home. 

Dear Husband, 

     Thank you for being so incredibly sweet to me last night. Thank you for 

     the bubble bath and all the other little things you've done for me while I've been sick.

     You're the greatest. 

a horrible week during which i cried several times

this week has been awful. awful from the very start. 

i haven't seen my husband outside of sleeping hours all week, thanks to 12 hour school days on tuesdays and even longer thursdays (school and then work until 10:30pm.) not to mention all the late nights at work.

when devin finished school at 8:30 on tuesday, he had to go straight to work for a staff meeting and didn't get home until 11:00. he came promptly to my bedside once he got home (at which point i burst into tears) and held me while i cried. he knew exactly what was wrong and i didn't even have to say it: i missed him. and this is really hard.

so... what better time to get the flu?! am i right? 

i'm not. because this is obviously the worst time ever. and maybe it's not the actual flu, but at the very least, it's the flu's ugly stepsister and she's come to stay for the weekend. throbbing head, fiery thorn bush throat, body aches and chills... they're all keeping me company while devin works and goes to school. if i'm not better by tomorrow night i'll be damned! amanda is coming down with the kids and my sweet and only (for 1 more month!) nephew just had a birthday and i'll probably die if i don't get to squeeze them and hear all about their lives in Vernal. skype sessions just don't do them justice. i need those babies in the flesh!

the good news is that devin is loving school already. he's taking mainly rec classes, so he's at a point where his classmates are friends now, not just strangers - and they are all in all of his classes! another pretty cool thing about this semester? devin is taking a class from my dad, who was been teaching at the university as an adjunct professor. i am so excited that he gets this chance, because that's pretty cool! plus, i'm anxious to know what my dad is like as a teacher. i always thought he would make a great one! devin even got lucky with his math class - the teacher as a TA who is hosting study sessions regularly to make sure everyone stays up to speed with the content - so it's basically like tutoring, which is so cool! 

other updates... kayla seems to be recovering perfectly! she is up and walking (even made a shopping trip! and that's saying something!) when they originally did the surgery, they stitched some of the bandaging onto her, so she got those stitches out, which she says was the most painful experience she's ever remembered (probably only because she has no memory of the burn in the first place!) but the doctor is really happy with the way the skin is reacting and she should be back to herself in no time :) 

also, did you know my brother in law sean is in a band?! he just recently became the new drummer for The Zero Summers, which is a salt lake city -based band - and they've got a good sized following! devin and i are so anxious to get to a show and see them play! sean's one of the coolest people i know and now that he's in a band he's just that much cooler ;) i am so excited for him! and for kelli! she is loving all of it except the 4 hour rehearsals in her living room part... haha! 

also... not only did kaden have a birthday this week, but so did my other brother in law sean! i think his favorite present this year will be a new baby boy! he'll be such an awesome dad. i am as excited as ever to meet this baby boy - he could come any day now - and i would be totally fine with that ;) 

so, maybe this week has be awful. awful from the very start, but it helps to look at the bright side and remember the awesome things about it too :) here's hoping i'm cured by morning! 

life, lately

tibble fork 2012 - going through all my old photos reminded me of gems like this one! so pretty!

our new year's eve was slightly uneventful. we went to the dog park in the freezing cold for awhile and then went to dinner with devin's parents and played cards (they are the reining champs). i love my in-laws. they are great company, and amazing people. the kind of people that make you feel uplifted once you leave. next we drove to midvale to celebrate with our good friends, kyle and jami. they are our rock climbing partners in crime and we love spending time with them. devin and kyle work together almost every day, and their dogs are so awesome. we had some home-jarred pickles, bacon-wrapped lil' smokies sprinkled in brown sugar, cheese and crackers and chocolate fondue. jami and kyle are getting married in april, so while devin and kyle watched old school climbing videos, jami and i talked wedding details. i love weddings! i am so excited for them and i can't wait to celebrate with them in a few months! we watched the ball drop, and by that time, all the junk food had caught up to me and we went home shortly after, feeling stuffed and sick, but happy. i think new year's is kind of a let down. it's never as exciting as you think it will be in your head. 

i had new year's day off, but devin didn't, so i headed down to my parents and ate chinese food with my mom and helped take down her christmas decorations. i sat at the piano for a good hour, re-teaching myself how to play my favorite song, "waterfall" by jon schmidt. i was so upset that i had let my talent go, but after going through the song about 10 times, i got it back. sort of like riding a bike! it was interesting to play and watch my fingers move faster than i could read the notes, because i still have that muscle memory. i went home and looked for keyboards on ksl, because it's all i want to do now - just play! 

my little sister had her skin graft on thursday. my mom said she was very brave, and hilarious once she came out of the anesthesia. she was convinced that justin beiber did her surgery! she doesn't even like JB! they took the skin for her graft from her thigh, in the exact same place they had taken skin from when she was 2 and had her first skin grafts right after the burn. the spot they did in the surgery was small, but she is still in a lot of pain. she says her leg is hurting more than her shoulder is. she's getting a lot of rest and is expected to recover just fine. we went to see her friday night and cooper ran in the door and jumped right up on her. i cried, i was so mad at him. of course, he didn't know better, but he spent the rest of the night being scared to go near her, because he knew how much trouble it got him into the first time. he didn't hurt her too much, but still! i felt awful :( i'm glad she got over it quickly. (thank you, pain meds). we brought her a big fluffy down comforter and 10 movies (literally. all the best chick flicks). i painted her toes and we watched "baby mama" and then devin and i headed back home.

we don't have a lot of other plans, until next weekend when amanda and the kids come down! we'll be having a baby shower for chloe and baby blue and spending as much of the weekend as we can with family. i've been fighting off a cold again, but have yet to get really sick this winter - hopefully i can stay that way! now, we're off to the dog park! wish me luck, because my weather app says it's only 7 degrees! 

my week via iPhone

 

< our stockings! devin and I built a cute coat rack right before chrismas that we hung them on

> some more cooper christmas love

 

< snuggle pup

> cooper's finally teething! we are so glad he's loosing these dagger baby teeth, but it's been a pretty constant challenge to make sure he's still okay. and it's also been pretty bloody...

 

< man to man

> sunday at the dog park - in december. it was freezing.

 

< when dad plays with cooper...

> this man.... i'm beyond grateful for this man lately. 

>< post-christmas exhaustion

 

>< the next several photos are virtually the exact same: of a sleepy, snuggly cooper. my favorite kind.

 

< an excess of oranges around christmas time. always. so this time, i made orange juice!

> saturday = 800 days since our first date. don't ask me how or why i know that. but it's pretty cool. it's weird to look back at pictures of us when we were starting to date and realize that at that time, i had no idea devin would be my husband, but there he was.

 

< our saturday night agenda while devin works: the second half of season 3 of gossip girl and sleeping (2 days in a row at the dog park make for a very happy, very tired cooper)

> one of those times when an outfit i thought of in my head turned out to be as good as i imagined (and also, i finally own a curling iron. and a blow drying that actually blows air, and doesn't burn my skin...)


< new years eve fondue
> envious of our friends' bouldering room in their basement


>< one of my resolutions taking place. i was devastated a few months ago when i sat down at the piano and realized i had forgotten how to play my favorite song. after running through it about 10 times, i've got it back. i can play it again comfortably, just not memorized like i used to (yet). 2013 is going to bring with it my love for piano (again.)

 
< my mom's hilarious updates about kayla's surgery while i was at work
> diet coke is bad day fuel


< painting kayla's toes, post-op