weekend update

oh my goodness, this weekend was incredible! okay that's not completely true because i spent friday night at home by myself alphabetizing our dvd's out of boredom while devin worked BUT. saturday, man. saturday was the best. Oh, but we did go to lunch on Friday! You see, every Friday at work for me is basically Armageddon. It's super stressful and I was having a pretty bad day (ranged from beetles to angry people, so...), so Devin met me for lunch and we ate huge, messy burgers and I felt much better.

burger wasted.

devin had to teach a class at the gym saturday morning so he got up and went to work. i woke up a little later and got together my climbing gear and some lunch, and then met him at the gym and we went up Big Cottonwood Canyon to the Reservoir Wall (side note: i sometimes wonder if people who aren't familiar with climbing know that each different wall or climbing area has it's own name. usually, the person who bolts the routes, which could be anyone who knows how, names it. I've talked a lot about climbing at The Wild and The Zoo that's near, but there are a lot of places. Devin and his Brother just climbed 7 pitches of one called "Cosmic Space Dust Lasers", so there really isn't any rhyme or reason to the names of these places we climb)

i sort of love the empty gym in the morning as they are opening. 

I would love to climb with that place to myself!

I had never climbed up Big Cottonwood, and I had never climbed on quartzite rock, either. We were in the sun and it was pretty hot, but we had a nice breeze! I was getting pretty excited and proud of myself for putting a lot of the techniques and movements I had been learning to good use, but on the first route, the mental game won and I came off the wall from about half way up really upset and disappointed. I hate that! I don't understand how/why my mind can control my climbing. That should just be left up to my strength and my body, right?! It can be so frustrating when you let it! I was mad. But I'm also going to blame the heat, because hot climbing shoes hurt and my toes were in a lot of pain!

big cottonwood canyon is absolutely beautiful!

loving my new and much needed chalk bag!

>imagine a picture of a moose right here, because there's supposed to be one, it's just on my other camera and i'm hugely lazy about uploading photos. the point is, this awesome moose grazed by us for awhile and it was pretty cool. moving on...<

After I rested for awhile and got my head cleared, I tried a second route, and it was the same thing. I was so proud of myself for trying things I had been afraid of before. I was using those tiny, tiny footholds (howintheworld do those microscopic lips on the rock hold me up?!) and I was going for moves, even if I wasn't confident I would stick them - except this time, I finished! When I came back down I told Devin that I couldn't even remember the last time I saw the anchors of a long route like that. I was so happy and in the best mood after that! I wanted to end on a good note, so we stopped there, plus it was getting way too hot.

We had been in the sun for awhile and were pretty hot, and neither of us wanted to get back into climbing shoes so we went home and headed straight for the pool! I love that our development has a neighborhood pool! It's not super nice and it's pretty small, but we have been at the pool so much since it opened on Memorial Day, and we will spend pretty much all summer there, I'm sure. We swam and laid in the sun for awhile and then started feeling guilty that we had left cooper at home all day (i'm a little opposed to climbing in big and little cottonwood canyons just because they won't let my dog come along), so when we got home, we took him to the dog park and let him run around for awhile. He is the funniest dog and every time we go, people comment on how much personality he has. I love that! He was even chasing butterflies around just like Riley does.

one abandoned coke can

On our way home, we stopped at the grocery store to grab a few things and then made some dinner and dessert and ended the night a little early because we were so tired! We ended the day with some of the funniest tanlines ever. I had put sunscreen on a few places that I knew I didn't want to get burned, including the tops of my shoulders, that were just recovering from a really bad burn while we were hiking Calf Creek, so I have a ring of sunburn around my shoulder where the sunscreen wasn't all down my arms, dang it! I didn't get any sun on my legs of course. My shoulders look so, so funny though. Devin got a pretty major chaco tanline and some funny lines on his chest and sides from climbing and belaying without a shirt. We are quite the pair!

chicken and pasta with fresh basil and spinach salad with strawberries and feta cheese

this dog makes our lives so. much. fun.

Whoopie Pies

So Devin served in the New Hampshire Manchester Mission which basically covers most of New England (he served in 5 different states!), and apparently, these treats are an East Coast thing. I had never heard of them until I met Devin, and he has always raved about them. He's tried the "moon pies" that are sold out here and says they aren't the same. He even looked into the cost of getting a dozen whoopie pies shipped out to us, but it was crazy expensive.

So I have to give him all the credit for this one. He found a recipe and was determined to make them, so last night, we finally did! He said they were perfect! These were a lot of fun to make and really simple. I don't think anyone could mess them up! I do have a few tips that I think would help at the end, though!

Ingredients: (cakes)

2 cups flour

1/2 cup cocoa

1 1/4 tsp baking soda

1 tsp salt

1 cup buttermilk

1 tsp vanilla

1 stick butter, softened

1 cup packed brown sugar

1 egg

Directions: (cakes)

1. Whisk together four, cocoa, baking soda and salt in a medium bowl, set aside. In a smaller, separate bowl, stir together buttermilk and vanilla, set aside.

2. Beat brown sugar and butter until light brown and fluffy (it's about 3 minutes. longer than you think, but don't over-do it either!). Add the egg and beat until well combined.

3. Reduce the speed on the mixer and begin adding the flour mixture and buttermilk in batches into the mixer until everything is well combined. Make sure to scrape the sides!

4. Spoon 1/4 cup mounds of batter onto a prepared baking sheet (we just used parchment paper). You should have about 8! Bake them in the over at 350 for 11-14 minutes, or until the cakes are cooked all the way through (we had to go all the way to 14 minutes to make sure the middles were cooked!) Let them cool on the cookie sheet completely, and then transfer to wire rack.

Ingredients: (filling)

1 stick butter, softened

1 1/4 cups powdered sugar

2 cups marshmallow creme

1 tsp vanilla

Directions: (filling)

1. Beat all ingredients until well combined (we just used a hand mixer.)

2. Spread about 1-2 tbsp of filling on one cake and sandwich with another cake to assemble the pie.

Tips:

- these are cakes, but they are also cookies, so the batter will be a weird consistency. Almost like brownie batter, but thicker, like a dough. That's how it's supposed to be!

- to get the batter onto the cookie sheets, I just used two spoons. They didn't come out perfect, but they weren't too bad!

- make sure the cookies are completely cooled before you frost them, or the filling will melt and get all over the place and make a huge mess (this happened to us on the first 3 we made!)

- devin says they are supposed to be better on day 2!

day 31 / a vivid memory

HO-LY COW. Are you sick of me yet? Cause I'm sick of me. I promise to never again blog every day because I'll admit, it's a little bit annoying. But! I made it to the very end! With the exception of my trip, after this post, I will have successfully blogged every day in May! Some of these topics were really fun, and some really got me thinking. I liked being able to have a prompt like that. Maybe I'll just think of my own prompts and post them whenever I feel like it. We'll see. Anyway... today's topic, the very last one, is to write about a vivid memory, and this one has been on my mind a lot lately. It all started last week when a friend asked me, "when did you know you were in love with Devin?"

I know exactly when I knew.

Devin and I had been dating for about a month or two.We had seen each other every single day since our first date. For the most part, that was just because we wanted to. We loved being together. But then, once we realized we were making quite a streak, we made a bigger effort to never miss a day, which made for a lot of visits at work, and even more late nights. We were both working and going to school full time, and our schedules were often opposites, so a lot our dates were things like math homework or grocery shopping. That way, we could still see each other, and get everything done at the same time.

Most of our nights would be late, usually after I had gotten off work (I was working at Bath and Body Works at the time - thrilling, I know). I would go over to Devin's apartment he shared with 2 other roommates and we would make blueberry pancakes and bacon and drink V8 juice and watch TV. We were both hungry and needed to wind down, so it was the perfect combination.

So we did just that. I had helped Devin pick out a griddle a week or two earlier, and we had used it almost every night since for our pancakes and bacon! Breakfast for dinner was our favorite. We had gotten in the habit of eating dinner pretty late with this, and we still to this day, usually eat dinner between 7:00 and 8:00pm!

When we finished cooking our breakfast for dinner, we loaded up our plates and piled on the syrup and headed straight for the couch, like always. This relationship was still so new, but we had so much chemistry that it truly felt like we had been best friends for years and years. Being around Devin came very naturally for me, and I was comfortable around him from the beginning.

Devin began channel surfing and finally settled on House Hunters: International. I even remember the episode. I think they were in Panama. We leaned over our plates on the coffee table and half-watched while we talked about whatever between bites.

Then I set my plate down, leaned back on the couch, and took in this view of Devin sitting next to me, eating breakfast for dinner at 9:00pm, watching HGTV. And I realized right then that this was the rest of my life. That feelings was so weird and confirming and it just washed over me. It seems like such a small and silly moment. We were just doing our normal routine, like we had done for weeks before. There wasn't anything different about that night, except that feeling. I knew right then that the rest of my life would be spent eating breakfast for dinner, just a little later than acceptable, watching TV shows. With Devin.

And you know what? It's been about two and a half years since that night and not much has changed :)

Viola!

*also, i did have a great picture in mind to share on this post but i cannot find it anywhere... slash... i'm too lazy to really look for it... :) *

day 30 / letting go. or at least... trying to

today's topic is another sticky one. the prompt says, "react to this term: letting go" 

(insert biiiiig exhale here)

so, here's the thing. i had this whooooole other life before i met devin. and it's not something i like to bring up, and it's the main reason why i deleted over a year's worth of posts from the beginning of this blog. i dated someone very seriously for several years and it just ruined me. i mean, it really took a toll on my everything. i came away from those years so emotionally unstable. so mentally sick (i don't mean like evil sick, i mean like my mind had the flu.. haha) i couldn't trust. i had all of these horrible tendencies like jealousy and second guessing everything. i couldn't trust anyone. i had lost all self esteem. this guy had just ripped it all out of my hands. but he did it in such an awful, slimy, snake way. he was so manipulative and controlling and i saw right past it. i was so blind and it was so obvious and i feel like such an idiot about it all now. what a mistake it all was. why didn't i notice? why didn't i see that? he was so good at persuading  and lying and i believed every word he said. he could talk his way out of absolutely anything and he was so scary-good at lying. i watched him lie to everyone else in his life, but always had this sick idea that he was always telling me the truth. because i mattered. right? i was under the impression, at least. even after things ended, it was hard for me to come to terms with all of the truth that came out after the fact. it's still hard. i still struggle with it. it still keeps me up at night. i had endured so many horrible things, without even knowing it. it was just the worst. it ruined me. he was such an awful person to me, and i felt so defeated.

enter devin. and every part of my ruined self was fixed. almost instantly. i became a new person. i was confident again. i was happy. i was thriving. but it was still hard. and those slimy feelings would come back  sometimes in the beginning and i would doubt and i would second guess and i would pull away and i would build these walls and i would hate myself for it because i knew in my heart that i could trust devin and he never once had given me a reason not to, but i couldn't help myself. it was these slimy tendencies. these habits that had formed from all those years of being mistreated and taken advantage of. i just couldn't shake it. i couldn't let it go. i couldn't overcome all the bad that i was left with.

and i'm not saying that i still have this unhealthy attachment to that guy. it's got absolutely nothing to do with him at all. that ended when it ended. the letting go part is about the slime. all the negative stuff it left me with. that rotten feeling it left inside me. the hole. the absolute betrayal.

those years seem so far behind me now. and the life i live now is so different and so happy and those old years, i can hardly remember them. no, really. they are dissolving every day, and i am so, so glad, because it's making it easier. easier to let go. 

so, i wouldn't say i'm there yet. but it gets easier every day. and my dear sweet husband? oh my goodness, does he love me. he gets it. and i never thought he would. i never expected him to, and i understood exactly why he wouldn't. and why he shouldn't have to. i always felt so guilty for having this problem for being so emotionally and mentally unstable and for getting in these ruts sometimes. i called it baggage. but he gets it. he relates to me, with his own similar experiences. he understands and he's patient and he's supportive and he's taken on this challenge of letting go and he's made it ours. and he helps me every day. and he makes it so easy. i could do anything with this man at my side. anything. 

he's helped me gain back so much more confidence. so much more trust. he fixed it :)

letting go isn't an easy thing to do. under any circumstance and for any reason, but when you have someone else on your team, it sure helps. devin, i love you! you are the greatest.

whoooo! that got pretty deep. moving on...!

devin's birthday

all devin wanted to do for his birthday was climb. no surprise there! so after we woke up and he opened a few gifts from me, we got ready and met some friends at the mouth of rock canyon, then we hiked up to the wild for an awesome climbing session! it was my first time on real rock in a long time, and i feel like it went pretty well! i forget how much i love climbing when i go that long without it! devin did amazing as always, and we had such a blast! after a quick lunch at Zupa's, we dropped cooper off at devin's parent's so brandon could come pick him up for the weekend. dogs aren't allowed in capitol reef, and the other plans we had would have been less than ideal for our pup (we saw so many dogs hating hiking in the hot sand! it was so sad!) anyway...

next up, we headed to Lowe's so Devin could pick out a MITER SAW! That was my big birthday present to him this year. He also got an electric sander and he was so stoked - I was so glad! once we took that home, we did some grocery shopping for our trip and then ended the night with none other than thai food and waffles of course! it was such a fun day and i'm so glad devin enjoyed himself. happy birthday dev!

 

the wild. some of the funnest climbing! short, easy routes, bolted by our close friend, christian back in the day! i love climbing here, but i hate the approach. rock canyon is sort of steep and unforgiving. but this rock is so much fun to climb on!

 

view from The Zoo!

 

< more zoo views

> our friend mary climbin some 11a at the zoo

 

jammin at the crag

 

i changed my shirt 5 times, only to revert back to my grungy old "I (heart) NY" shirt from the 90's. BUT: forever 21 makes great workout pants

and la sportiva will forever have my heart when it comes to approach shoes. and climbing shoes.

 

crag dog

 

how awesome are iphone cameras? this is pretty impressive. but even more impressive is my husband. he's pretty sexy when he climbs topless ;)

 

all climbing shots are butt shots

 

defeated! boom.

 

< more defeat-ness.

> nice rack (hehe)

 

< i love the sign for the fish market right next to our thai food and waffles

> also, i love this view of the rio grande. such a cool building!

i know i'm not the only person who gets really indecisive about which filter i like better. raise your hand if you're with me on this one. because i know you are! also, we (i) look really bad because i hadn't washed my hair in 4 days and this was after tons of rock climbing and hiking in the heat, okay?!

the second year

may 26, 2011

serendipity: the phenomenon of finding valuable things not sought for.

Meeting Devin was pure serendipity. For us both. Neither of us were looking for anything, especially not our future spouse, but I am grateful every day that I found this man on accident. That I walked into that wedding, and that he cared to notice, and that he had the nerve to contact me. And that he couldn't deny wanting to get to know me. I'm so glad I took a chance on him, even though it felt like a risk sometimes.

Devin, I am proud of you. I am proud to be your wife. I'm proud of our marriage and I'm proud of the life we have built together. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love that I get to keep all these adventures and trials and milestones with you forever. I love not having to share those with anyone else. We've come pretty far since our wedding day, and it's so crazy to look back and see all we've been through and all the places we've been in these last 2 years. It makes me excited to see where the next two years take us, and all the years after that.

I love you so much more than I ever thought I could. So much more than I ever thought was possible. I feel so privileged to have married my very best friend. Happy anniversary, love.

Two years!?

26 years

*this was supposed to be posted on thursday, the 23rd, but we were too busy!*

it's that sweet husband of mine's birthday today. he's 26 now, and handsome as ever. we were so glad to have all our friends over last weekend to celebrate with us, since we're headed out of town tomorrow for our anniversary, but there is still plenty of celebrating to do today for his actual birthday. dev, i know i get real mushy and lovey about you on here a lot, but it's only because you deserve it. i'm sorry that i'm so cheesy, and it's probably even a little embarrassing sometimes, but i really can't help myself. you're just that great.

to save the blogger world from all the mush, i took a different approach this year and have told devin all the mush in a more private way, (i wrote him a song. just kidding.) but i'm still gonna overload this post with photos of my man because this is a celebration after all. and i'll take any chance i can get to show off my best friend.

happy birthday, love!

 

wedding day. starving.

 

fishing mohawk lake 2012

 

july 2012, babies and slack lining

 

always building something / cascade springs 2012

 

logan temple june 2012, golfing at cascade

 

grandpa willis' birthday party last year / baby dev. the cutest kid.

 

if all our children look like this, i'll have 100 of 'em.

 

anniversary trip 2012: phone apps and horseback riding

 

somewhere i don't remember / honeymoon 2011

 

kaden and devin in their matching glasses

 

skiing 2012

and some photos from birthdays past: 

 

devin's 24th birthday, 3 days before our wedding. he was already living in our first apartment, so i kicked him out for a few hours, built a fort in the living room, ordered take our from la jolla groves, and got him a tiramisu cake from his favorite french bakery in salt lake. then we bought a wii.

last year for his 25th birthday, we reserved a banquet room at his favorite restaurant in provo, Communal. i had to work for the first half of the day and gave him a present to open every hour while i was at work. then we were off to jackson hole!

how to successfully throw a birthday party for a 26 year old

about a month ago, devin texted me one day and said he wanted an actual birthday party this year. within less than 10 minutes of getting that text, i had at least 20 tabs open and was emailing him menu ideas, guest list additions, and going through pinterest and etsy like a crazy person.

i had to shut myself down immediately. i was throwing a party for my 26 year old husband. not an 11 year old girl. no, we can't have chevron treat bags, or mint green paper straws. this needed to be a man's party! it was harder than i expected, and a whole lot of work, but it was so worth it! i had some help from a few girls setting up and getting all of the food together, and aside from my constant pacing, and stressing about people coming, everything went exactly as planned, and so many people came! it was a huge success. devin had so much fun, it was so great to see and catch up with our friends, and i was reminded of how much i love planning, throwing, and hosting parties!

i will admit, i'm pretty proud of myself with how everything turned out. i am so glad everyone liked it!

the menu included:

pulled pork sandwiches with three different barbecue sauces to try

bottled sodas

bacon wrapped lil' smokies

mixed fruit in waffle cones

teahive cheese and crackers

popcorn

doritos

tortilla chips, salsa, queso, and spinach artichoke-parmesan dip

chocolate cake (from costco) with vanilla and sea salt caramel ice cream

everything was delicious! almost all of the food got eaten and there was plenty of extra popcorn - just what i wanted! thank you to everyone who came and everyone who helped out! we had so much fun and want to do it again soon!