Things I've Learned This Week

1. I have absolutely no attention span for biology, and honestly, I couldn't care less about photosynthesis and chemisomotic phosphorylation...
2. Glee is actually pretty good. I just don't like it becuase EVERYONE ELSE is OBSESSED.
3. Writing powerful words on your arm in Sharpie is an effective way to accomplish something specific throughout the day. (Thank you, Savannah from Hellcats for the inspiration)
4. The Ultimate Chicken Grill... is my best friend.
5. It's expensive when one of your best friends gets married. Bridal showers, bachelorette parties, weddings... soo many gifts (you are welcome, Tracey!)
6. Fun. is the best. band. ever.
7. I don't know how much longer I can take "Beyonce and Jay-Z" at work. gahhh
8. My math professor used to work at Disneyland as a character... I'm too afraid to ask which one...
9. There is no reason for glasses making you look smarter... smart people don't wear glasses... vision-impared people do.
10. Being self-absorbed is not a hobby. No, seriously. It's not.

{proud of where i am}

Taking a look at my life right now... at where I have been, where I am now, and where I [think] I'm going... I have it pretty easy :) and pretty GREAT! 


Less than a year ago, when I was living in St. George, I decided to start making some changes... some very necessary, VERY overdue changes.


I started to seriously consider where I was going in my life with my career and my schooling.


I filtered through the people surrounding me and got rid of the negative ones that were only holding me back.


I got rid of bad habits and replaced them with things like exercising daily and reading more novels.


I stabilized the good relationships I had with the people who did matter.


--And now, not quite a year later, after those changes, and many more... most unintentional...


More changes have been made.


I have made ammends with people who deserved my apologies.


I let go of grudges.


I see positive outcomes only.


My attitude is as happy and optimistic as humanly possible.


I no longer live with any regret.


And I am proud of where I am


I am happy and productive and active and successful.


I smile.


I blow the little things off my shoulder.


I forgive people.


And I absolutely LOVE my life.


My goals have been met.


My prayers have been answered.


My life is right where it should be.


And I have all of this to thank to that day in St. George when I realized this 

wInTeR... :/

So if you know me at all... you know that I am by NO MEANS a winter person. I am a summer girl. Through and through. So during math class...(I know, a horribly inconvenient time...) I wrote the list of why I hate winter.


And then just to be fair and nice, the reasons why I don't hate it. So feast your eyes on THIS:


Why I HATE winter with the white-hot intensity of tenthousand summer suns:

1. I HATE having to give myself 10 extra minutes in the morning to let my car get warm enough that I can drive without turing into an ice cube, and scrape off the outside... it is SO annoying.
2. Even though I grudgingly give myself those 10 extra minutes, my car still isn't warm enough to be comfortable.
3. uh, hello... it's COLD!!!
4. My tan fades, and I'm all pasty.
5. My fingers and toes are cold for approximately 6 months straight wihout any hope of feeling warm in any way.
6. There isn't much to do outside. And by "isn't much" I mean there is basically NOTHING to do.
7. Winter naturally makes people more sad and despressed... which is not okay, because I am always so happy and optimistic! I don't need mother nature screwing with my attitude.
8. EVERYTHING is more dangerous. Driving, walking, you name it. It's harder when it's below 40 degrees.
9. No swimming. That's a given.
10. No snow cones. Which are my FAVORITE.

Why I guess winter is okay... sometimes...

1. I get to wear winter clothes (pea coats, scarves, BOOTS!)
2. Christmas. That's a given.
3. Snow looks pretty.
4. Skiing. Which is the only thing I will do outside. Besides ice skating.
5. I can drink hot chocolate without being ridiculed. Because yes, I drink hot chocolate year round.
6. We are that much closer to summer! haha
7. Cold winter weather makes everyone more apt to cuddle :) and cuddling is great.
8. It means we are half way through the school year.
9. I love Christmas lights on houses and at temple square. They are so pretty.

Ok. So they are kind of equal. But I guess that just means that I can see the good in everything. Thank goodness, becuase if I couldn't I would probably have to go into hibernation for the next few months... which I'm actually not entirely opposed to! haha

7 days

It has been exactly one week since Grandma passed away. It feels like it happened yesterday. My mom brought home a couple of heir-loom type things for each of us. We had all gone over and mentioned things we would like to have. I feel so lucky to be able to have these things to remember her by :)


I got an afghan that she made. It is so beautiful. Handmade by my Great-Grandmother. That is something special. It's red and white and teal and blue and a pretty pattern.


I also got that quilt that I had wanted. The sea foam green one with small floral print. It is perfect. No doubt my new bedding.


The other blanket I got is a simple little purple one that doesn't have any special story or meaning. It means a lot to me, though, because it was Grandma's blanket. She used it every single day (she was always cold). It was purple, too :) It was always on the back of her chair, if it wasn't wrapped around her legs.


I was able to get her adorable blue quilted coat that she wore a lot, too. Every time she wore it, I would tell her she looked cute, haha. I don't know that I would ever wear it, but it is important to me to have.


I got a thimble, which is very cool, because of all the quilting she did. A special little memory.


A beautiful glass bowl with a lid. It looks like something fancy you would put vegetables in at Thanksgiving Dinner. I don't know what I would do with it, but I really liked it.


I also got a pretty necklace, that I don't ever remember seeing her wear, but it is so pretty.


Also, when I was really young, probably only 6 or 7, we were having a family party at her house, and she called me and all my cousins into the front room where her tea-cup collection was. She told us all to pick out a tea cup and when we got married, she would give it to us. I got my tea cup tonight. I told my Grandma Houston I thought she should take them and give them to each of us when we got married, but she said that we should just take them now. Mine is sooo gorgeous. It's white with gold trim and has big pink roses on it. I picked it out when I was so little, but every time I went over there, I would pick it up and look at it. I always loved it.


 The last thing, which I haven't gotten yet, because I don't know if it will be given to me, is a trunk. My Great-Grandpa Peck, Grandma's first husband, who I never actually knew, because he passed away when my mom was a little girl, was in the army. In WWII, all the men and women in the army were given a trunk, like a suitcase, I guess. It is army green and has really offical things stamped on it. I had never seen it before until we were walking through her house last week. I put my name down saying I wanted it, but didn't know my chances. When I asked my mom tonight, she said it was a possibility. I think it would be so cool to have that trunk. It was so authentic. I true antique. Grandma had a LOT of trunks though, all very authentic and antique, and I would love any of them, but that one just seemed special to me.


I never expected to ever be given any kind of little momentos of Grandma, but I feel so lucky that I did because they will mean so much to me. I already feel more at peace, now that I have a little piece of her to hold onto.

♥

in case you were wondering... or in case you cared...


life hasn't been TOO exciting...


Kyle got his school pictures taken...

...it looks the EXACT SAME as his picture last year... haha the one on the left is this year's and the one on the right is last year's. haha what a nerd. i love him.


also... Kyle and I had some fun at dinner tonight with our "Mom's Sauce" BBQ sauce for our chicken... I was bored and impatient... as usual:

it was pretty delicious as well. and can i just say (again) how AMAZING I am at making sauteed zucchini? because i am.


oh yeah.


Kayla got her stitches out and I went to the hospital with her and Mom.

This is how her shoulder looked right before we took the stitches out, in comparison to Saturday, 2 days after surgery. lots of healing!

before the Dr. came in, we had to take off her bandage. the tape she has to use is really sticky, so it hurts to peel off. Mom was doing it for her and she's all "yeah it doesn't hurt that bad.... ow! ow! yes! yes it does!!! now i have to pee!!!" hahaha she's great.

just starting... "everything everyone ever told me about getting stitches out was absolutely FALSE!!!" she was in lots of pain :(

everything still looks basically the same just because she has scabs where the stitches were. so when those heal, it will look like there aren't stitches.

just in time for homecoming on Saturday! yay! now all she has to wear is that tape, instead of all the bandaging.


i know. gross, right?


other than that...


>>I have a cold.
>>I am all caught up on my math homework (finally)
>>we did stability balls in aerobics today... killed my arms, but it was such a fun work-out
>>it HAILED and POURED during class today. it's so hard to pay attention to Professor Bartholomew when the rain is pounding on the roof... haha
>>I am becoming a GLEEK. yes. it's true.
>> i'm also addicted to Hellcats. it's fantastic.
>> PLL starts in JANUARY!!! yay!!!


and in other news... I have a few pictures from the funeral.


I saw these maybe an hour ago, and when I did, it brought back all the emotion of that day with it. They are really hard for me to look at. But I figure that since this blog is basically like my journal, it would be important to include them.


I also have a couple pictures of when my dad and grandma houston saw grandma cobbley maybe a day or two before she passed away. they are pretty hard to look at no matter who you are, but i still think she is beautiful.


ps. sorry for the bad quality. they are pictures of pictures, because my scanner wouldn't work.

Daddy and Grandma Cobbley on either September 14 or 15 (she passed away on the 16th) in the Rehabilitation Center where we moved her on Sunday the 12th.

my cute grandma's. I love them so much. they are both such amazing and strong women.

At the luncheon, there was a beautiful display of all the quilts Grandma Cobbley had made for us kids. I think there were 38 of them. Not including the 600+ given to Humanitarian Aid or any of the baby blankets of afghans she made.

My quilt is in this picture. I just don't know how to describe to you which one it is. haha it's satin sea foam green with floral and I think it's the 7th in from the left. the big one right in the middle. It's so gorgeous.

My brother, uncle, cousins and second-cousins were the pallbearers.  Scotty, Jacob, Kyle, Quincy, Jeremy, Shawn, Trevor... I think... I don't know my second-cousins very well.


My cousin Mason should be in this picture, but he is serving a mission in Lancing, Michigan right now.

After they set the casket down, they took off the carnations pinned to their jackets and placed them on the casket. It was really sweet.

the casket with the quilt over it. She quilted this one for Kayelena, who I don't know. But it had lots of purple, which is her favorite color, and it was absolutely gorgeous.

After they took the quilt off. Her casket was so cute. Light pink lining with those little rose embellishments all around the sides. It was very appropriate.


So life has been good. Everything is moving forward, as hard as that may seem. But I am smiling and happy and at the end of the day.. life is good :)

Why I absolutely Love to Hate Ke$ha

I am pretty sure you all know that Ke$ha is my favorite. Just because she is completely insane. Do you wanna know why else?

• Her name is almost Ketchup. Almost.
• She thinks using a dollar sign symbol instead of a regular 's' is socially acceptable.
• She claims the dollar sign symbol is meant to be ironic because she "actually [stood] for the opposite of putting a lot of emphasis on money"... spoken like a true, filthy rich star...
• She has officially been quoted saying "I love garbage bags" during a photo shoot for Elle Magazine.
• Her name REALLY IS Kesha. Really.
• Her full name? Kesha Rose Sebert. Her mother? Pebe. She doesn't even know who her father is and her brothers are Lagan and Louis. Really.
• She was literally born at a party, and probably conceived at one as well. In L.A.
• She describes her style as "garbage-chic"... is it just me or does that seem like the world's biggest oxy-moron?
• She claims her image... her "garbage-chic" style developed from her being poor and trying to brand herself on a budget... True, it worked. But I don't think she's going to be starting a fad...
• She purposefully makes herself look like she dressed in extreme drag yesterday, got seriously drunk, slept on it, and made important public appearances. WITH a hangover.
• Even when she's sober, she sounds drunk. Her words always slur.
• It's quite possible that she really does brush her teeth with Jack Daniel's Whiskey.
• She makes up words. Like "steeze" style and ease...
• She achieved 'near perfect' SAT scores and described herself as "very studious" in high school... but dropped out at 17...
• She uses the word 'bummer' in serious conversation.
• It's questionable to authorities including The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times and Billboard whether she can actually sing...
• Her fashion inspiration? This guy:

Keith Richards. An old stoner in eyeliner. Classy...


And the #1 reason why I love to hate Ke$ha?

This was her outfit for the VMA's. Aside from that hair... This is the caption: "KESHA (in a Marjan Malakpour dress custom-made by Lauren Bradely out of garbage bags)


Her dream has come true. Her dress is MADE OUT OF GARBAGE BAGS.


"I love garbage bags"... yes, yes you do. And I love YOU, Ke$ha.

May I Go?

The funeral service for Grandma was today. It was absolutely beautiful. Tons of flowers, and a gorgeous display of all the quilts she had made for each of us.


A few things: She has ACTUALLY tied over 600 (not 200) quilts for LDS Humanitarian Aid. All in the past 5 years (2005-2010), all while legally blind. And her first quilt was made in 1935, not 1938. She was 15 years old.


She was sick with scarlet fever, when she was 15 years old, and bored, so her mother told her to make a quilt. She gave her some fabric, and grandma cut out the pieces. Then her father gave her some wool from the sheep he herded, and she used homemade soap to clean it and make the quilt batting. It is absolutely gorgeous.


There was another viewing, which was very hard, then my father gave the family prayer in the viewing room. After that, the casket was closed, right after us, the immediate family, offered our final goodbyes. That was the start of a day of tears. It was so hard to physically have to say goodbye, in any sense, let alone in front of plenty of people I didn't know.


After that, we all moved into the chapel of the church, where my Grandma Houston, her oldest daughter spoke first. Grandma gave a simple life sketch, highlighting the most memorable and important moments of Grandma Cobbley's life.


Next on the program was mine and Kelli's musical number. I am not a very good performer in front of crowds. Especially with the piano. The song I played was simple; like a hymn, and I had practiced it probably a total of 5 or 6 hours. I knew it by heart, but as I got onto the stand and sat at the piano, it took me at least 30 seconds to get my legs to stop shaking, and my racing hands to calm down (although, they never did...). Kelli and I had only run through the song together 2 or 3 times shortly before the program, and I was nervous about my tempo and the new introduction she was having me do.


Aside from the uncontrollable shaking of my legs and hands, and tears filling my eyes, followed by constant sobbing, I managed to finish the entire song, all 3 verses, without one mistake. It was truly a miracle! And even though Kelli had no time to warm up her voice, she sounded absolutely amazing, as usual. It was perfect.


I was so glad that my great uncle Larry was the one to speak after our performance. Larry has always been so light-hearted and such a comic relief. He told funny stories, and made his talk short and sweet. The only other living child of my Great-Grandma Cobbley is my great uncle Norman, who chose not to speak. I'm not sure whether it was his emotions being so strong, or the fact that he is in the early stages of Alzheimer's that kept him from making some remarks.


My second cousin Sienna, then played a violin duet with my cousin Lyndsey on the piano, which sounded beautiful.


The Bishop of Grandma's ward spoke next, and he made me realize what kind of legacies have been left behind by my Grandma. The legacy of strong women in our family. The fact that her some 600 quilts are now keeping children and families all across the world warm at night, and the legacy of service, hard work and faith. She was such an amazing woman.


My little brother, who is only 14, and was so close to her, got to be a pallbearer, along with our other cousins and second cousins.


Next we followed the hearse to the cemetery, where Grandma's plot had been picked out for years, right next to her first husband, Jeff Peck. My Grandpa Houston said the dedicatory prayer, and we were then left to visit.


I wanted to pick a sunflower from the field next to Grandma Cobbley's house to place on her casket, but didn't have time this morning. The best I could do was make sure to carefully place a small flower on the casket that had fallen out of the arrangement already there, next to the carnations that each pallbearer had worn on their suit.


The relief society had prepared a delicious luncheon for us after the program, and we had a couple hours to visit and share.


After the luncheon... everything was over. We are expected to go back to our lives, like any regular day, any regular time. I don't understand how I am going to be capable of returning to a regular life any time in the near future, when I still can't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks.


I know she is at peace now. She is an angel, watching over me and my family. She can see now, her shoulders don't hurt. She's not always cold. She has no technology to complain about. She is in safe hands.


The most touching part of the entire service for me, was the simple poem on the back of the programs:

May I Go?

May I go now?

Do you think the time is right?

May I say goodbye to pain-filled days

And endless, lonely nights?

I've lived my life and done my best,

An example tried to be.

So can I take that step beyond

And set my spirit free?

I want to do, I really do,

It's difficult to stay.

But I will try as best I can

to live just one more day.

To give you time to care for me,

and share your love and fears,

I know you're sad and are afraid

Because I see your tears.

I'll not be far, I promise that.

And hope you'll always know,

That my spirit will be close to you

Wherever you may go.

Thank you so much for loving me.

You know I love you too.

That's why it's hard to say goodbye,

And end this life with you.

So hold me now, just one more time

And let me hear you say,

Because you care so much for me,

You'll let me go today.

--Susan A. Jackson

I almost feel like the words of this poem were taken straight from Grandma's mouth. She sure put up a fight. I doubt it was easy for the simple cause of old age to take her down. She was always a fighter. There is no doubt she had a strong heart right up the last moment.

Every time we would say goodnight to Grandma after helping her with small simple tasks throughout the day these last couple weeks, it was hard to make out, but she never failed to say "Thank you for today" or "Thanks a million". What an example.

The last thing I remember her saying, that is so clear in my mind, is when I said goodnight to her one night, I grabbed her hand so tight when I noticed her trying to reach for mine and I bent down close and said "I love you so much, Grandma, goodnight"

She sat for a moment, finding an ounce of energy, and carefully let out "I love you too". So much effort went into such a simple phrase. And even though the phrase is simple, it definitely means a lot more to me then anything else ever has.

I am so happy she is in heaven. I know she isn't lonely. I know she's been put to work, which she probably insisted on, and I know she is finally in a place where she can truly be happy again. I am so glad that she is in no more pain. I can't wait to be with her again, but for now, I think I'll be okay, knowing she is watching out for me :)

see you on the other side

Tuesday the 6th, I believe, my 90-year-old great grandmother fell.


It was a small fall, just a little trip over something in the way, seemingly ineffective to anyone under the age of 80, I would guess. But it didn't go over so well with her body, and she started to quickly, yet progressively become very sick. Grandma Cobbley has had a bad shoulder for awhile now, and when she fell, she hurt her shoulder, her hip, the side of her face, and got a big fat lip. That day, the Hospice center that we have contacted to help her out in her old age, brought in a special bed for her to stay in, since she was quickly losing the majority of her mobility.


Grandma had been getting worse each day, eating less and less. Whether it was a few spoonfuls of chicken broth or a couple swallows of milk, she wasn't getting the nutrients she needed. Especially when her eating habits turned into small swallows of water, and a few ice chips each day.


She has been legally blind for years, which was very frustrating for her, especially when her first great-great grandson, my cousin's baby, was born (who is now 2). The last week, while Grandma had been sick, she began to be very incoherant, and could hardly talk. She would mumble and moan, if she could muster up the energy, but it was left up to us to decode what she was trying to tell us.


On Sunday the 12th, we moved Grandma to a rehabilitation center closer to her daughter (My grandma) where they could take better care of her. The nurses there are specially trained to work with people in their last few days.


Each day, grandma got worse and worse. Talking less, eating less, sleeping much, much more.


Thursday, September 16th, 2010 (Grandma's 1/2 birthday, 90 1/2 years old) at approximately 7:28a.m., she passed away. Just 3 minutes before my Grandma, her daughter, arrived.


She is easily one of the most amazing women I have ever known. So strong and humble. She was always willing to help others out. She quilted tons of quilts, starting in 1938, when she was just 15. And has tied over 200 quilts for humanitarian aid, almost all of those being tied after she was announced legally blind.


She made the best milkshakes in the world, taught me how to crochet, and would listen and talk to you for days on end. She would give you a $5 bill every time you went over for gas money, because of the ridiculous gas prices. She always had cookies and chocolate for others, lined on her counter by the door with coupons and other treats for her visitors to take as they were on their way home. She was the root of all Christmas tradition, and the staple in our family, holding us together strong, and when she left us, it helped bring us even closer.


She lived a full, amazing life, and will be dearly missed by her family; children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and great-great grandchildren. Not to mention her neighbors and friends.


I love you Grandma LaVee Peterson Peck Cobbley!


Her funeral and viewing and luncheon are this Sunday and Monday. I am accompanying my sister on the piano, while she sings "Beyond the Sunset" at the funeral on Monday morning.


Pleast keep our family in your prayers.

This picture was taken 6 months ago, on March 16th on Grandma Cobbley's 90th birthday. Sitting with her is my Grandma Houston. We made her 90 cupcakes to pass out to her friends and visitors as they came to wish her a Happy Birthday. It's amazing the difference 6 months can make.