day 30 / letting go. or at least... trying to

today's topic is another sticky one. the prompt says, "react to this term: letting go" 

(insert biiiiig exhale here)

so, here's the thing. i had this whooooole other life before i met devin. and it's not something i like to bring up, and it's the main reason why i deleted over a year's worth of posts from the beginning of this blog. i dated someone very seriously for several years and it just ruined me. i mean, it really took a toll on my everything. i came away from those years so emotionally unstable. so mentally sick (i don't mean like evil sick, i mean like my mind had the flu.. haha) i couldn't trust. i had all of these horrible tendencies like jealousy and second guessing everything. i couldn't trust anyone. i had lost all self esteem. this guy had just ripped it all out of my hands. but he did it in such an awful, slimy, snake way. he was so manipulative and controlling and i saw right past it. i was so blind and it was so obvious and i feel like such an idiot about it all now. what a mistake it all was. why didn't i notice? why didn't i see that? he was so good at persuading  and lying and i believed every word he said. he could talk his way out of absolutely anything and he was so scary-good at lying. i watched him lie to everyone else in his life, but always had this sick idea that he was always telling me the truth. because i mattered. right? i was under the impression, at least. even after things ended, it was hard for me to come to terms with all of the truth that came out after the fact. it's still hard. i still struggle with it. it still keeps me up at night. i had endured so many horrible things, without even knowing it. it was just the worst. it ruined me. he was such an awful person to me, and i felt so defeated.

enter devin. and every part of my ruined self was fixed. almost instantly. i became a new person. i was confident again. i was happy. i was thriving. but it was still hard. and those slimy feelings would come back  sometimes in the beginning and i would doubt and i would second guess and i would pull away and i would build these walls and i would hate myself for it because i knew in my heart that i could trust devin and he never once had given me a reason not to, but i couldn't help myself. it was these slimy tendencies. these habits that had formed from all those years of being mistreated and taken advantage of. i just couldn't shake it. i couldn't let it go. i couldn't overcome all the bad that i was left with.

and i'm not saying that i still have this unhealthy attachment to that guy. it's got absolutely nothing to do with him at all. that ended when it ended. the letting go part is about the slime. all the negative stuff it left me with. that rotten feeling it left inside me. the hole. the absolute betrayal.

those years seem so far behind me now. and the life i live now is so different and so happy and those old years, i can hardly remember them. no, really. they are dissolving every day, and i am so, so glad, because it's making it easier. easier to let go. 

so, i wouldn't say i'm there yet. but it gets easier every day. and my dear sweet husband? oh my goodness, does he love me. he gets it. and i never thought he would. i never expected him to, and i understood exactly why he wouldn't. and why he shouldn't have to. i always felt so guilty for having this problem for being so emotionally and mentally unstable and for getting in these ruts sometimes. i called it baggage. but he gets it. he relates to me, with his own similar experiences. he understands and he's patient and he's supportive and he's taken on this challenge of letting go and he's made it ours. and he helps me every day. and he makes it so easy. i could do anything with this man at my side. anything. 

he's helped me gain back so much more confidence. so much more trust. he fixed it :)

letting go isn't an easy thing to do. under any circumstance and for any reason, but when you have someone else on your team, it sure helps. devin, i love you! you are the greatest.

whoooo! that got pretty deep. moving on...!

five things: i've found what you're looking for

I've stumbled across a lot of really beautiful things lately. the kind that you weren't really consciously looking for, but are glad you found.

1 / this beautiful and inspiring photography project. go here

2 / this gorgeous acoustic cover of "radioactive" done by my girl, Allie Gardiner of The Gardiner Sisters. go here.

3 / this quiet, humbling photo essay of a woman fighting cancer. photos taken by her husband. go here.

4 / my newest travel obsession. go here.

5 / this reminder. go here.

to myself

on Saturday, I felt like a horrible friend and cancelled our dinner plans with Jami. (she's awesome. she'll forgive me.) but sometimes, I just need my husband to myself. we've been really busy the last few weeks, and even when we are together, there are too many other distractions, and too much going on in our minds to really spend the time together. devin, that sweet husband i'm so lucky to have, handled my mini breakdown really well. he is such a good husband. he sure loves me! he took me to grab some pizza at Slab and then we went home and played cards.

i needed that.

in other news: i dusted off some oldies. and that mostly means that i found some pictures i've been meaning to post but never got around to it until now.

 

we took these family photos, I think in November. the lighting was pretty bad and Devin was using a timer, so the quality didn't turn out too well. we will reshoot eventually. but we had a really great time! i love my family. we even brought our crazy dogs, they just aren't in this picture. 

this beauty is from several sundays ago, i think. i asked devin if he wanted to go on a walk. i meant around the neighborhood, or around either of the 2 walking paths/tracks we live next to. we went on what i will call a mini-hike. it was fun anyway.

this weekend went by slow - just the way i like it. and next week will be a blast. i only work until wednesday, wednesday is devin's birthday, and thursday we leave on our anniversary trip! update: devin is now trying to decide if he wants to blindfold me for the car ride, too. he says he thinks i'll know where we're going as soon as we start driving. i told him i would gladly be blindfolded. i love surprises - and he is good at surprising me!

he's home!

 

about a mile in.

 

 

frost on his shoes and backpack

 

of course. he took them just for me, haha!

 

their camp

some indian ruins

 

Druid Arch

 

the class (and the peanut butter....)

 

my handsome husband

 

(probably my favorite picture he came home with)

 

I'm glad he thought to take a camera on the trip! He said it's because he knew I'd want to see pictures. He knows me so well. I'm so glad he was able to go, and more glad he came home safely and had a great time. I am pretty jealous he was able to go - it makes me want to get out and camp so bad!

On a different note... we wanted to watch the new episode of The Office while he was unpacking his bag (hence the mess), but our DVR just won't record it for some reason, and the only place we could find it was on hulu... so we hooked the computer up to the TV with an HDMI cord. But... the laptop had a low battery, so we had to plug in the charger. And then we realized the sound was only coming through the computer, which wasn't loud enough, so we hooked it up to the speaker system.

All of this resulted in the laptop in the middle of the room, with all the cords stretching as far as they could to reach it.

And it was worth it. It was a good episode.

THIS WEEK?

// tonight for FHE (which we have very inconsistently) we're going to decorate sugar cookies for         valentine's day.

// we'll be at the banff mountain film festival both days (wahoo!)

// we'll celebrate valentine's day ashby style (which means we won't really celebrate at all)

// we'll figure out what the heck is wrong with the mazda (engine light came on while i was driving to layton. so did a steering wheel light. and we've had continued problems with the tire pressure sensor)

// maybe even ski again this weekend?

product recommendation series: hair

i haven't done this in awhile. in fact, i'm sort of horrible, since i just barely remembered, but as soon as I did, I felt the sudden urge to pamper my hair, so hair it is!

so. shampoo and conditioner. honestly? my very most favorite shampoo is Matrix (the "Sleek" kind. it's orange). It smells amazing, it works wonders, and it's also a little too expensive for me to justify buying it every time I need new shampoo. I am also a big fan of when my husband gets his hair cut at Remedez in the University Mall, because they only use Aveda products, which smell so good. I love it. Anyway...

since I can't bring myself to fork out the money for this stuff very often, I have found another love:

I have always liked Tresemme as a brand, I feel like they are higher end of the store bought stuff, and when they came out with this "naturals" line, I was all for it. I like using natural things in my hair. Chemicals are so damaging on my hair, which is why I have avoided dying it, and all that fun stuff. I love that this "Nourishing Moisture" kind uses aloe vera and avocado. Those sound like great things! I love how it smells. I love how it works. I am always satisfied.

But what about the days in between washes? I am one of the girls who can't wash her hair every day. If I do, it gets weirdly greasy and gross, unless of course, it's really dirty, then of course I was it, but day to day? I don't need it. I do have side swept bangs though, and since I'm always adjusting them and touching them, they get greasy the fastest, and on days in between washes, it helps to use this stuff. It's also nice to add to my roots and touch up the top layer of my hair to look nice. Another awesome thing about dry shampoo? I take it camping! It's a life saver. And again... smells amazing! (that's important to me!)

and on the days that I really want to pamper my hair? (i've posted about this before, and if you didn't see it, you may think i'm crazy) extra virgin olive oil. I know there are benefits, I just don't remember what they are. But try it, and your beautiful hair will speak for itself! It makes your hair so shiny and smooth, and helps keep it healthy! I just use whatever is in the cupboard we have for cooking. Devin loves cooking and tends to splurge on the EVOO, but we got this brand (Bertoli) from my bridal shower, I think, and it's pretty inexpensive and was great! (for cooking, and my hair... haha!)

I massage the EVOO from root to tip until my entire head is a stringy mess and reeks of olive oil (which is actually another smell i love, so i don't mind).

It feels weird. It looks wrong. You might think you are doing the opposite of what you were hoping to achieve. Don't worry, just wrap it up turban style in a hot, damp towel and leave it in for 20 minutes (or longer. I usually try to leave it in for 45. basically as long as i can stand having all that extra weight on my head that keeps me from doing basically everything).

Then, just shower. I usually have to shampoo really good twice, and condition once (and use less conditioner after this treatment then you normally do, because the olive oil has already done a wonderful job of moisturizing your hair, and too much moisturizing will just result in greasy locks.)

I like to think I have good hair. It's healthy for the most part, even though I blow dry and flat iron it almost every day... I love my natural hair color, which is lucky, I think! Or else I would probably dye it all the time... So I feel like my regimen works pretty well! 

Flat iron? Chi. All the way. Do I have one? ... No. But I certainly wish I did, and it's definitely on my christmas list. Right now I have a 1 inch Andis flat iron, and it's awesome. I love it. It works great. It heats up fast, but I am a firm believer in the Chi. It's awesome. My blow dryer is a bright pink Revlon $17 one from Target. I bought it because it was cheap and pink, but I am now noticing that with my thick hair, I need one with a little more power. So that's also on the list. (Any recommendations?) 

just so you know...

I'm going to take the month of January off of blogging.
See you all in February!


...

The Best Of: 2011

originally, i had made this big, long, categorized list of my favorite things in 2011. but now i decided I'd just share a few. all things 2011. and it's still a long list... sorry! they aren't in any specific order, either. 

As far as entertainment and the world go? 

PJ 20 came out. The Pearl Jam documentary celebrating the band's 20th anniversary. I have always been a fan of peal jam, but in 2011, I became fully converted to the awesome that is Eddie Vedder. He is a crazy man. But I am sure a fan. Now if only I can think of a clever pearl-jam related dog name for a future pup. 

MODERN FAMILY, NEW GIRL, THE VOICE, and THE BIG BAND THEORY all became instant favorites. Thank goodness for DVR and Netflix, otherwise we wouldn't be able to keep our obsession so consistent. I'm surprised with how many great shows have come out lately. And I may even admit to liking some of Devin's other favorites like Sons of Guns and Gold Diggers (or whatever it's called...)

9/11 10th ANNIVERSARY. I can't believe it's been 10 years since 9/11. I can't believe it's been 10 years, and we're still fighting this war. It was a huge milestone for this country, I think. As much hurt and tragedy as 9/11 was, I think it did a lot of good for the unity of us as citizens. I know that personally, my patriotism is on a whole new level after seeing the United States' reaction to the attack. I am so proud to be an American and am ever-grateful for the men and women that fight for us.

THE ROYAL WEDDING. Does this even need an explanation? Kate Middleton is so iconic. She is definitely royal material. And what girl doesn't gush over such an extravagant ceremony?! Remember that dress?

TEMPLE ANNOUNCEMENTS. Provo Tabernacle? What an awesome way to restore the building that has meant so much to the city of Provo! It is going to be beautiful. I can't believe how lucky I am to be surrounded by temples. To have an option of which one to attend. There is nowhere else in the world that has that privilege. And Paris? I have always dreamed of going to Paris. Devin told me we would go some day. After they announced the Paris Temple, I told him we couldn't go until after it was built! Can you imagine how beautiful it will be? I don't remember the other temples announced this year, but I love when the Prophet announces temples. It just means that there is a higher demand for members to be doing this work and grow close to the Lord. It is such good news.

As far as us Ashby's lives? So many personal events in 2011. It was a HUGE year for Devin and I! 

ENGAGEMENT. (February 25) It meant the beginning of the rest of our lives! I answered the most important question of my life that night! We made a major decision to be married, and it will always be the best thing I ever did! 

KELLI AND SEAN GOT MARRIED (May 13). So happy for my sister. Love my new brother! They are so great together, and I love getting to know Sean and spending time with them. So glad Kelli and I got to do the whole wedding thing together.

KATIE RECEIVES ENDOWMENT. (May 19) One of the best nights of my life. I will never forget my first time through the temple. I am so glad Devin took me to the temple. I loved that our families were there. It meant so much to me to have everyone there. My testimony has grown exponentially since that night, and I love returning as often as we can.

DEVIN TURNED 24 (May 23) I always promise that I will keep his birthday and our anniversary two completely separate events. This was the first of his birthdays we celebrated together, and it was such a fun night! Bought a wii, built a fort, ate yummy La Jolla Groves and had Gourmandise Tiramisu! 

WEDDING. (May 26) Duh! Best day of my life! 

BUCKHORN. (July 8th-ish) Our first camping trip together. It was a total success! I am sure 2012 will hold many more camping trips, now that we have all the gear we need. Buckhorn was the perfect weekend though. One of my favorites! 

GREY'S. (July 31st-ish) Both of our families have had the exact same camping trip for 20+ years. This year, we got to combine a little. A camping trip probably doesn't seem like a big enough event to other people, but the fact that Devin and I both did this our whole lives made it that much more important the first time we got to do it together! 

KATIE TURNED 20 (August 3) Devin made my birthday a week long celebration and completely spoiled me! It was the first of my birthdays that we will celebrate together, too!

WE BOUGHT A TRUCK. (September 5) This was a huge! Our first major purchase, and it taught us a lot. I have been really impressed with Devin's financial knowledge, and that we were able to buy our truck! It has been a sacrifice in some places, but worth every thing it took to get it! We bought it on a total whim, but I don't think we'll ever regret it. I just wish we would have bought it sooner, so we could have had more time to play with it! Never in my life did I ever think I would buy something brand new. 

KATIE'S MANY JOBS. I started the year at Bath and Body Works, and around March, got a second job at StoresOnline after Devin and I got engaged. Once I realized BBW just wasn't worth the many hours and drama, I quit, and in July, got laid off, along with the rest of the department at SO. After 2 awful months of unemployment (I say awful because I am surprised I'm not insane after having so much free time. It was rough to just sit at home and very discouraging!), I have found huge blessings in being a Nanny. 2012 will bring even more job adventures, but I think I learned a lot of great things from all the jobs I had in 2011. 

NURSERY. We were in the ward for a few months before we got a calling, and we had already anticipated on being put in nursery, since that seems to be the trend with newlyweds (i think it's a hint, haha!) What we didn't expect, is that we would absolutely love it! It is seriously the easiest 2 hours of church I have ever sat through, and I love every single one of those kids in our class! We never know what to expect, but it's always a blast. Even though we get sick way more often than usual, and spend most of the block pulling apart 2-year-old fights, I love every minute of it. I wish I knew the adults in the ward better, but I love these kids! 

APT ADVENTURES. We have had all kinds of crazy go on in the last 7 months of living in my grandparents basement. (Relive those experiences here, here and here) We love it here though. Great neighbors, awesome location, we love the ward, and it's so nice and affordable. We won't leave until we buy a house (although I did try to talk Devin into looking for cheap, pet-friendly apartments once. I just really want a puppy!) I love being with family and my grandparents are awesome. They are the best landlords! 

ANTIQUE MALL. This year, my sister-in-law Chloe introduced me to the coolest place ever! We spent a LOT of time at the antique mall earlier this year, and I haven't been back in awhile (that will change!), but I loved making that discovery this year! The antique mall started a lot of other antique shopping, finding some awesome places, which lead to almost all of the inspiration for my wedding, and also most of the accessories I used.

CONCERTS. We went to a lot of really great concerts in 2011. For our wedding, my Grandpa gave us tickets to Stadium of Fire! What an awesome wedding present. There, we both found a love for Brad Paisley we didn't know we had! That guy can play some serious guitar. I am speechless when it comes to his talent and he is an incredible entertainer! We spent a lot of nights at the Rooftop Concert Series in Provo, seeing bands like Paul Jacobson and The Madison Arm, Fictionist, Sayde Price, Joshua James, and others perform (I can't say enough good things about all those bands!) and we also spent some time at the Velour. We went to an acoustic show of Cory Mon's. Cory and Devin have been friends for years and years, and I was finally able to come to a show! (Cory usually performs in venues that tend to be 21+). I have a huge respect for that guy. He is so talented, and a very good man. Wes Kirkpatrick played that show, too, and he is a new artist added to my list this year! Wes reminds me a lot of one of my favorites, Andrew Belle, which makes me like his music all the more! We also saw Imagine Dragons at Velour, and that is a show I will never forget! I love that Devin doesn't just have a love for music, he is truly passionate about it. I love all the stuff he has introduced me to, and I love that it's a big part of our days. 

We also discovered a lot of great places to eat in 2011. We love eating... haha!

THE CHEESEBURGER FACTORY. On our Grey's trip, Devin and I tried a place in Alpine, WY called The Cheeseburger Factory. Probably the best burger I've ever had ever. Amazing. We will definitely be eating there every time we go up! 

RED BARON. On that same Grey's trip, we stopped for lunch on our way home (I think we were in Afton, WY) at a place Devin's family usually eats at. It was delicious! I loved including that tradition of his in our trip. 

BRAZA EXPRESS. We tried that new brazillian grill in Provo and it was pretty good! We reeked of the place when we left, but the food was different in a good way, and we like it! Maybe we'll just get take out next time.


COMMUNAL. We may have discovered communal last year, but it is by far the best dining experience you can get in Utah Valley. Amazing food and service. I have been exposed to a world of food I had no idea even existed!


LA JOLLA GROVES. Quickly became one of our favorite restaurants. We haven't eaten there much (we should change that..!?) But it's definitely high on the list for a quality restaurant in Orem/Provo.

I'm sure there were others, I just don't remember! That's pretty much all the 2011 favorites I can think of, but they were all great! It was an awesome year, and I'm sure 2012 will be great too! I'm excited to see what will happen this next year. It could mean big things for us! I can't wait.

happiest news

i'm at home by myself, cooking dinner, waiting for devin to come home any minute.

it's about 6:00 and someone knocks on the door, and then i hear them run away.

no way am i answering my door at night when i'm home alone! nobody even knows there's an apartment down here?!?!

i wait a few minutes, and open the door to find a cupcake. it's chocolate. and there's a big question mark on it. also? a note from val.

her way of telling me if she's having a boy or girl.

she said to have devin video tape me eating it, but since i waited for him to get home to find out (what a long 20 minutes!!!), we forgot.

and what did I find???

See you in April, BAYLI GREY JONES!!!

a recommendation

I feel like I've finally reached a point where I have found the product I love for everything I need; from lotions to shampoos to skin care, and now... make up. It feels like a pretty great accomplishment to finally be satisfied with my daily regime and I thought why not share the wealth?

So that's what I'm doing. A little "product spotlight" if you will... Even though I'm sure there are better things out there that I have yet to discover, or just can't afford, or don't bother to use... I know that I have always loved a little advice and help in this category.

My new found favorite? Bare Minerals make up. I realize that I'm years late jumping on this bandwagon (why didn't anyone do an intervention on me?! haha just kidding) Before bare minerals (oh wait. that was less than a week ago) I had been using Maybelline's Dream Matte Mousse, which I actually loved. (so if you don't want to fork out the $$ for bare minerals, this is a good one too, and cost much less!) I had a few problems though:

1. "Drug Store Brands" never seem to have a very true match to my skin tone. Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's the fact that my skin tends to have a yellow-ish tint to it, but I could never find a color that matched my true skin tone close enough, and always ended up too light, or worse, too dark.

2. It really is mousse. Seriously. The texture is so creamy and it goes on so smooth, but it's thick, and I can feel it on my face, and it sometimes made me look like a clown, I felt.

3. I tended to use a shade or two too light, in order to avoid the orange bad-spray-tan look, but I compensated with bronzer. Which is a problem for me, because I feel like I had a problem with portion control. I was always weary of the ever embarrassing jaw bone make up line, but I do feel like I often wore it too dark. (I just wanna be tan, okay?!) So it was defeating the purpose.

4. By the end of the day, it looked like I hadn't even put make up on in the first place.

My sister in law, Amanda and I had been talking about Bare Minerals for awhile. She uses it, and couldn't say enough good things about it. Then for Christmas, she drew my name, and got me a little starter kit that included 2 eye shadows, a blush, a colored eyeliner and lip gloss. The next day, I went in to get the foundation.

With Bare Minerals, I have already learned so much! I went into the new store they just opened in the University Mall here in Orem, and one of the associates took off my make up and replaced it with Bare Minerals make up, teaching me all about it while I watched her apply it.

Since this make up is a super fine powder (reminds me of powdered sugar, really.), it takes such a SMALL AMOUNT to cover your entire face. Also? There were about a billion color choices, and I got one that matched my skin great! You can hardly feel it on your face.

The technique they taught me, and recommend you use is buffing the powder into your face evenly. It almost instantly evened my skin tone, and it looked so natural. Next, after the foundation, Jen (the associate that helped me who was also awesome) applied the Mineral Veil using the same technique. It's a setting powder that helps the makeup stay in place and on your face. After that, she used Warmth, which is a bronzer. It scared me, because there is only one shade and it's DARK, but you just use a TINY little bit, and it works miracles. I loved it!

I got all set up with a Starter Kit (between $60 and $65!) which included:

• my personal foundation match
• mineral veil
• warmth
• foundation brush
• bronzer/blush brush
• concealer brush
• brush shampoo

it's about a $165 value, if  I remember right, and it's worth it to get the brushes! They are amazing and were designed specifically for this make up and the technique you use (they call it "twirl, tap, buff" i think). 

Also... I don't usually take the time to put eyeshadow and other fancier make up on each day, just usually since I'm in a hurry, but I do like to highlight and brighten areas like around my eyes, on my cheekbones, and near my brow bone, so I also picked up a sheeny, ivory shade of eye shadow to do just that for $13! 

christmas ramblings

having today off was a mistake. i have way too much time to myself. the house is clean, 2 loads of laundry are folded and put away, and i'm sick of watching "Friends". thank goodness i have a disc of modern family to re-watch, since i didn't pay attention to any of it.

even though i've been planning christmas for devin since february, i'm nervous. he is so good at shopping for me. and even he admits to being hard to shop for. i feel like i did a pretty good job though.

devin went back to work today after being home sick for the past 2 days.he only has 2 calls, but i'm nervous for him. i hate it when he's sick.

i wish mitchell and cameron were my uncles.

sometimes i plug in the christmas tree in the middle of the day...

as of last night, we are officially DONE christmas shopping. we finally wrapped the last presents! wahoo! 

i could have easily put some bread in the toaster for breakfast... but i instinctively grabbed the muddie buddies. i'm home alone?! no one can see my breakfast choices

i think i realized why it doesn't feel like christmas. 1. it hasn't snowed yet. like at all. 2. christmas is on a sunday, which is weird. 3. i don't have a job where it's important to know what date it is, so i don't realize how close it is. 4. time has gone by so fast lately, that mentally, i'm still in mid-november.

i'm so giddy about christmas you could probably mistake me for an 8 year old.

cleanse

Devin and I decided to take a facebook break until 2012. 

we were talking about it last night. about how you don't realize that you actually are truly ADDICTED to it. we both admit to logging on multiple times a day. and to what? read useless information about people we hardly know? yes. 

it's kind of embarrassing to admit. and even though it's only been like 10 hours, it's already been a challenge. i have 3 hours of down time while the kids nap, and i spend the majority of that time on the computer. to do this for the next 2 weeks and avoid facebook will be a real challenge, as sad as that is!

BUT it will be worth it. between the computer, our phones, and the TV... technology does too good of a job distracting us. especially from each other. i think this facebook cleanse will help us get some more quality time together, and i know it can't hurt!

i'm tired of Facebook being the cause of any drama. i'm tired of it being the source of why i worry about things that have nothing to do with me, or shouldn't matter to me. i'm tired of it making me feel like things should be important to me when they aren't. it's become too much. 

i enjoy the mindless entertainment of facebook. i enjoy how easily it allows me to kill time. but that doesn't go without paying a price. facebook owns us. 

we'll see what kind of changes this makes. even though 2012 is only 2 weeks away, it's going to make a difference. how big of a difference, i don't know. i'm sure i'll blog more often (as if once, sometimes twice a day isn't enough...) to fill up my time, haha. 

i'm glad devin and i are doing it together.


*oooh! i almost forgot. i updated the "The Ashby's" and "Stories" tabs. fyi.

5 Things: Blog Lovin'

I thought I'd switch it up a little with this 5 Things post. So instead of posting 5 things, I'm going to list 5 posts from other blogs that I've read within the past week and really enjoyed!


1. Feeling Lucky? A Belleza Mia Giveaway (Delia Creates) - *don't worry. i entered. and i've been crossing my fingers that i win that gorgeous thing!


2.  at breakfast (The Daybook) - *my new favorite blog. cutest little momma ever! this post is just a funny moment in parenthood worth sharing!


3. I am... (Whatever & Stuff) - *probably the single most inspirational woman ever. and also? I get to meet her when we go to New England in May!


4. wish list 1 (The Daybook) - *another Daybook post. some awesome wish list items, and also where I got the idea to post my own wishlists. she did one for herself, her husband, and her baby boy! (you can track the others down on her blog if you want. i'm sure you'll be able to find your way around).


5. Check It Out! (Hue & Hum) - *you already know how much I love these guys. some info on their new Christmas Album (also their first album EVER, btw.) they're amazing. you should get their CD (only $5 on etsy!)


I would post pictures, but that would be stealing from their blogs. All the more reason to click on those links :)

more ramblings + photo dump friday

i decided i like to blog this way. so you'll probably see more of these kinds of posts.

i've reached a point where if i go more than 3 days without seeing a spider in the house, I know i'm overdue. I constantly scan the walls and ceiling, shake out my clothes and shoes, and promptly move the bug killer to somewhere more accessible. I also make sure Devin is within yelling distance at all times.

I think I have classically conditioned myself by watching several episodes of the office in bed before we fall asleep. now, every time i see or think about it, i get tired and start yawning incessantly. (altoid, anyone?)

I realize that when i blog, I am randomly selective about what i do and don't capitalize. but i don't really care.

my side of the closet could probably eat Devin's side very easily, yet I still complain daily that I have nothing to wear.

why does my netflix choose not to work the moment i discover breakfast at tiffany's on instant play? this event was weeks ago. and it's been sitting on my instant queue forever now, but i still haven't watched it...

Devin's favorite episode of the office is "Safety Training" (season 3: episode 19), which has resulted in both of us having the entire 21 minutes and 21 seconds memorized. We watch it at least every other week.

sometimes, Devin and I quote ourselves. Because we're just that funny. especially devin.

did you ever realize that straws are good for your teeth? the up & up brand straw box says something about how straws help prevent acidic content of soda and other elements that are harmful to your enamel by reducing the contact between your teeth and the liquid. makes sense, right? but awesome. plus, straws are more fun. and allow even more laziness. i can now drink while laying down.

you know how children are always the sweet, innocent ne'er - do - wrong - er's? then why are the always the creepiest part of scary movies?

Devin and I will think of one comment or scene of the office (that is totally insignificant and unrelated to the plot of the episode), and go nuts until we find out what episode it's from. (usually thanks to google and strangely worded search phrases...) most recently? when dwight talk about how he could have been growing mushrooms and puts his hand practically on the floor to show how high they'd be by now. (season 6, episode 9: double date). Found that one out by luck.

I think our wedding was the only wedding ever to not serve chocolate covered strawberries at the reception. I feel like I let everyone down. and now i'm craving some. good think my cousin is getting married tomorrow.

it's the middle of november. we sleep with our window open, and still complain about being too hot. all other times of the day at home? we're FREEZING.

a few weeks ago, i asked devin if he knew his family's plans for christmas this year. he said he didn't know, and didn't want to ask, because then he'd be put in charge. my mom called me earlier this week, and after our conversation, i asked her if she knew what our family's plans were for christmas. she put me in charge.

we went to staples yesterday. i haven't been in there for years. i immediately started scanning the store for Dwight Shrute. Too much office? never...

ALSO. i realize i didn't do a photo dump last friday. that's because i had the day off of work, which usually meddles a little with how and when i blog, because it's not my normal, daily routine. so maybe i'll just have to do photo dump friday on the fridays i work. we'll see. anyway...

and surprise, surprise, they're all of c-train and aria. i didn't take hardly any pictures. these are all from the same time...

carter woke up from his nap wearing BOTH of his spiderman suits (he has the original and black ones). and when he took the black one off, he asked aria if she wanted to wear it. which of course, she did. they crack me up.

 

there is one other picture. from earlier today. carter is off on a play date with is friend, xander, and aria went down for a nap. she's been doing this thing lately where she will just randomly burst into tears, and it's not just normal crying. it's terrifying. it sounds like she is hurt or someone scared her. but she just says she wants her mommy or misses her mommy, and i try to explain to her that mommy's at work. she knows this. she's also been doing this thing lately where sometimes she won't take a nap unless i hold her until she falls asleep.

today was a combination of both. and there is something so peacefully satisfying about carrying a limp, fast asleep two year old up to her room and laying her in bed. she's adorable.

ramblings of a bored nanny

i tend to be opinionated and insensitive. which when combined, is pretty dangerous.

i appreciate good style and fashion. i know what it is. but i still find myself wearing the boring stuff in my closet. because it's easier than getting dressed up. and when you work as a nanny.. you don't want to risk getting sticky kid messes (all of them you can imagine) on your cute clothes, right?

i think i have separation anxiety from my husband. whenever i'm not with him, i miss him terribly. i will admit to watching holmes on homes and cops by myself when i miss him. even though i can't stand holmes on homes.

i love to bake. but not really in a creative way. just in a cupcakes from a cake mix box with the easiest frosting recipe in the world. "experimenting" in baking, to me, means flavoring and coloring the frosting. i still think i'm good at it though. i just play it safe.

for the first week or two of being on pinterest, i was endlessly entertained. now i last about 15 minutes. i think i get headaches from scrolling through all the pictures, and i feel like i've seen every pin on there now. it's all just repeats.

i've started using pinterest over google. talking with my friend, valeri the other day, we decided that pinterest is like the crafty girl's google. you can google a recipe and get some mainstream online magazine version, but if you search it on pinterest, you get some awesome stay-at-home-mommy blogger's recipe, which is always much better. sewing tutorials? diy projects? cleaning tips? pinterest.

why hasn't it snowed yet?

right after i wrote that, i clicked over to my other tab that's open (pinterest, ironically enough) and the first pin i see says "stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight" -- it's a metaphor by President Hinckley, but still. hahaha i guess i will enjoy this weather a little longer. even though it's trick-weather. you look out the window, and the sky is blue and the sun is bright and huge, but you go outside and it's actually only 40 degrees. fools me every time.

if i had to run for my life, i would probably die. i mean, my adrenaline would keep me in the fight for a good mile or so (or less. most likely less.), but i would give up way too easily.

i am more than ever wishing i could spend the next few months traveling the world with devin. if money grew on trees, that's what i would spend it on. (i've never been on a plane, let alone left the country, and i want to travel the world. i think i'm getting ahead of myself?!)

i got so carried away with blogging/ watching hulu / pinterest / twitter / email that i just now realized the kids have been sleeping for 3 1/2 hours. nice.

putting a load of laundry in the washer before i start dinner or dishes or some other housework, makes me feel like a great multi-tasker. even though i'm only really doing one job. but it makes me feel so good, in fact, that i put a load in almost every time. because when you do laundry, you have definitely accomplished something. (my mom's best marriage advice to me? "just realize now that laundry is never DONE. you will ALWAYS have laundry. you never "finish" it. ever." thanks mom. it's too true.)

aria's hair in the pictures below is curled. from curlers. about an hour after this, it was back to stick straight.

now that it's holiday season, my nights at home are not complete until the christmas tree is lit and a candle is burning. and there are warm muddie buddies on the coffee table... :)

resolution

I'm learning to pick my battles. I'm learning to decide what's truly important. I'm learning to think things through rationally before I jump to conclusions. I'm taking my husband's advice more seriously. I'm doing what I can. I am looking for the positive and good in my days. I am appreciating the small things. I am reminding myself who's in charge. I am reminding myself to talk to Him more often. I am being very optimistic. I am going to make a few necessary changes. 

november

can hardly believe October is already over. it seems like that month always goes by too fast.


not minding the chilly weather one bit! it is definitely giving me the chance to use my awesome Patagonia birthday coat from Devin on a daily basis.


life has been too good to my lately. devin was sick for 2 days and stayed home from work, but he still managed to be the best husband of all time. my job has become so much more to me than just "work". 


I find myself missing Carter and Aria on the weekends, and when Devin wakes me up in the morning (because I never hear the alarm clock), and I'm all grumpy and feel like it can't possibly be 7, it must be 4:30, I just remember that I get to spend the day with those two, and I instantly become a morning person.


I love hearing Aria wake up from her nap (which she usually goes down for SO easily, it's a dream!). She will call my name, or I will just hear her playing with her toys. When she was in a crib, I would walk in to find her standing up with the biggest smile on her face, and she would start jumping up and down, so happy to see me, but now that she's in a big girl bed, she's taken to squealing and running to me to hug my legs when I open the door. How could that not make you smile? 


I love it when I leave the living room to go up to the kitchen to clean or grab something, and Aria is only a few steps behind. Following me, just because. And even better, when she holds her arms up and says "want Katie". Melts my heart!


I love hearing about Carter's day at school. He's a genius and I am so impressed with the kind of conversation I have been having with a 5-year-old over chicken nuggets and apple slices. He is so smart, and knows so much about so many things. 


It cracks me up when we all get a little rowdy and I find myself under a pile of ticklish children and pillows.


It's going to be a very depressing day when I have to leave here.


I'm so glad it's November. It means we are that much closer to Christmas! I started making our stockings last night, and I am so excited about it. I think I will have a lady in my parent's ward do some embroidery on them (the kind that you see all over high school on the kids' letterman jackets and cheerleading duffles.. she's actually the one that does all of that for MVHS, my old high school!). The fronts of them are quilted, and I already know this is going to be a challenge, but I also know that I gave myself so much time for a reason. I want them to be really good, because we'll probably have them for awhile!


This last weekend and the beginning of this week haven't been as exciting as I anticipated, but I'm glad for it. It's been nice to relax and have time to get reorganized. 


We spent Halloween at home with Ernie's and an oreo carmel apple from Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. We knew we wouldn't have any trick-or-treaters since we live in a basement and our ward had done trunk-or-treat, but just in case, we dug 3 hershey bars out of the cupboard, that ended up being of no use. And we spent the beginning of the night watching Amityville Horror, circa 2005 (the one with Ryan Reynolds). We turned it off after he killed the dog, because it was obvious it would just get gruesome, and naturally, we opted for some Ghost Adventures instead! As much as I love that show, and love making fun of watch a tool Zak is, it's still not a good idea to watch it at night! 


Kayla also came over for a minute and showed us the photos she had just modeled in. My best friend, Valeri did Kayla's hair and make-up and Val's good friend, Clark (who was also her wedding photographer) took the photos. 


Speaking of Valeri, I am ECSTATIC for her pregnancy. She's the first of my friends to have a baby, and you can bet I'm gonna spoil the bejeezus out of that little baby! I love Valeri and Garrison, even all their weirdness that I poke fun at regularly, but in all honesty, they are truly going to be the most amazing parents. I wouldn't have it any other way than for them to start us all off and show us how parenting is done in 2012!


As for some other news, Devin's work has made some changes, and he has made some changes with his schedule, so he can have some time in his days for school (reaching a point where the classes he needs to take aren't offered online or at night), so it will be an interesting adjustment, but I know it will be worth it. I love the company Devin works for. They have been so great to him (to US), and are all wonderful people. 


Tonight is a grocery night. I love grocery night. It's weird, but I do! Devin and I always seem to have a really great time when we go to the grocery store. Mostly just because my husband is HILARIOUS, I think.

week at a glance

 

aria in a witch hat. twice. 

 

devin masterfully making one of our pinterest recipes for sunday dinner w/ his fam. it was delicious!

 

devin's cheesy chicken pasta. SO good. mmm

things i did with the munchkins this week:

 

built a fort and watched Toy Story 3. (notice aria's sitting in her mini lawn chair)

pumpkin patch today:

we picked out some pumpkins and took them home to paint them. and couldn't help but stop for frosty's on the way home... :)

today certainly got off to a bad start. we woke up this morning to find that our bike rack and cargo rack had been stolen from the mazda. maybe you remember just months ago when we BOUGHT the cargo rack? and the bike rack was pretty new too... major bummer.

and then? devin blows a tire in his work truck. on the FREEWAY. he didn't get hurt, and everything is fine, but still.

also? aria may have had a small accident on my shirt. which was a pleasure. i was certain that would happen eventually. and at this point, i'm not surprised it was today!

tomorrow, i have the day off from nannying because the kids are on UEA break and will be staying with their grandma, but most likely, i will have them at my house tomorrow for a few hours to help her out a little. i think that will be a fun change for them. trying to think of what we can do! devin and i don't have a super kid-friendly house. that should probably change, what with our friends' kids, nieces and nephews and cases like this! oh well. it will be just fine! (i'm thinking we'll make cupcakes? or cookies?)

last night, i had a fun time hanging out with my sister in law Amanda for a few hours. we had dinner with the family, gave addi a bath (hilarious), made a wal-mart run for some ingredients and snacks, made s'mores and watched the Pretty Little Liars Halloween special. i'm so glad she likes the show too. it's so ridiculous and i hate admitting that i watch it (...i love it), so at least we can be embarrassed together! she also convinced me to make devin and i's stockings this year instead of buying some off pinterest. 

the ones i wanted were burlap with a lace trim. the lace wasn't floral though, it was reindeer! amanda said she's seen the lace before, and burlap is everywhere, so it will be way cheaper to just make them ourselves! i'm so excited about it. i don't know if the world (or myself) is ready for another katie sewing challenge though. but hopefully we'll go to a fabric store tomorrow and see what we can find.