my lot in life

today's topic for the blog every day in may challenge is to talk about something difficult about my lot in life and why it's hard for me.

I..... don't like this topic.
And I don't know how I feel about sharing those things on my blog.
I keep them to myself for a reason.
I haven't already talked about them on here for a reason.
My personal life remains pretty personal, even though it sometimes seems like I am an open book, tell-all.
But those struggles and trials and hardships that keep me up at night and make me cry the big, ugly tears?
Those are things I take on with my husband.
With my family.
With myself.
I don't want to talk about it here.
Not because I want this blog to be a strictly positive place, because it's not.
I think that's dishonest, really.
And I don't want anyone to look at my blog and think my life is really that good, because it's not.
And I don't think I portray it that way.
At least I try not to.
I do my best to share the real life things, although it's much easier to talk about the happy stuff.
I'm sure you know that.
But that's not the point.
I don't want to share those things because they're the things closest to my heart.
Tucked away more carefully than anything else in my mind.
The things that make me fragile.
I'm not talking about the hard, little daily stuff, because I do share that.
All the time.
But those are different.
Those aren't the struggles and trials and hardships that keep me up at night or make me cry the big, ugly tears.
Maybe if a time came that I felt right about sharing those things, I would.
And for some of those things, I'm sure that will happen.
But now is not that time.
It's delicate.
It's personal.
It's a big identifier for who I am and the way I live my life.
Things that very, very few people may know.
And that's all for a reason.
Now is not that time.