may angels lead you in

when i was at DSC, i was a full time mass communication student. writing is what i did. full time. tons of writing classes, plus taking on a hefty load of articles and photographs to do for the paper, and also editing an entire section for print. it was stressful for an 18 year old. it was stressful for anyone. and i can't decide if that year just took it out of me, or if i've simply lost my touch, but either way, i just want to prepare you that i do not feel adequate in any way to be writing this in the tone i tend to write lately, and will most likely write this post, but i've been mulling over this for awhile, and can't be quiet anymore.

that being said: i do not mean any of this to be offensive. my goal is to inform. and also to maybe feel a little better about myself, in that i would maybe make the world a slightly better place in the tiniest way by sharing. things like this just can't go unnoticed. it needs to be shared.

i really don't know a way to begin writing something of this caliber, so i suppose i will just get to it.

i've lived in the same house my entire life. most of the neighbors on my street have been there just as long. we're a pretty tight-knit (yet welcoming) group. these neighbors watched me grow as a child, along with my 3 siblings. years ago (no idea how long about it was. less than 10. no more than 5.), a new family moved in. and even better, they had kids. our age. we love that. our neighborhood was basically like a giant group of friends, at least with all the kids. as we've gotten older, we've grown apart, but we all grew up playing different basketball games in my driveway, and riding on the back of the grover boys' dirt bikes through the streets and driveways of our corner of the block. it was a good life.

so anyway, this family moves in. and they have kids. kids our age. and we love that. so naturally, they quickly became added to "the group" - except that, by this time, the group was fading out, and we were all growing up, but it was still there. hanging out with your neighbors was still cool at this time. anyway. The Campbell's move in, and not too long after that, my little sister, Kayla, and little Bekki Campbell become BFF. And it goes on for 6 years. Same goes for my [even younger] brother, Kyle, and Ryker Campbell.

As it goes, they grow up and grow apart. They evolve. They remain friends, but not close like they used to be. Whatever. It's all the same difference.

They started living different lives. That's just the way it goes. Bekki's lifestyle changed dramatically, not necessarily in bad ways, just in different ways. Different from what Kayla's lifestyle had dramatically changed to, which naturally caused some distancing. No biggie. It happens with almost every relationship ever, especially at a young age.

The point is, last week, Bekki tried to take her life. I would really prefer not to mention the details, out of respect for the Campbell family, and it's just not something you enjoy reading about anyway. Plus, it's really not important to my point.

Bekki was found, I have no idea how long after, and taken to the hospital. She was resuscitated, but doctors were unsure at this point whether she would survive the injuries or not. She wasn't breathing on her own. If she were to pull through, she would have serious brain damage for the rest of her life. She would never be the same.

I believe it was the next morning that Bekki died. In a phone call with my Dad later that night (Friday), he had let me know, and I haven't stopped thinking about it since.

I couldn't figure out why.

I knew Bekki, I had spent time with her, gotten to know her, but she was younger than me, and we weren't very close. Why can I not stop thinking about this?

Kayla came to my house today with a typical fashion issue earlier this week (not that I am by any means a go-to for fashion, just that we have the same taste. and she wanted to tradesies. typical.)

We got to talking, and it didn't take me very long to realize that this event has affected my younger sister exponentially. Dramatically. It has become a part of her, and changed her life whether she wanted it to or not. Forever. it hit home to my little sister for the first time in her life.

She also opened my eyes to some more truths about this tragedy.

Bekki was bullied. A lot. She was living a lifestyle that others didn't agree with. I can't confirm or deny if this bullying was her tipping point, but it certainly didn't help her in any way.

It wouldn't help anyone.

Kayla continued to tell me that Bekki is the second student in her class (class of 2012) to take their own life. In the last 6 months. She also told me that bullying is INFESTING the halls of her high school. She isn't surprised that the bullying she sees and hears around her could cause such extreme decisions of her peers.

It's that bad.

I feel like in the last year or so, the news has drawn more attention to bullying in school, but honestly, how many high school students do you know that actually watch the news, let alone, take it seriously enough to address these problems? ...none? yeah...

The way these students see it is "just another suicide"

Bekki is not just another suicide. She was a friend, sister, daughter, aunt, girlfriend. She had a life. She has SO many people that love her and care for her. She is no statistic. Nobody is just a statistic. That is ridiculous.

I can hardly believe that bullying in schools have reached this extent. I have only been graduated for 3 years, and I never thought it was too bad in my own class, but in those 3 years, high school has changed dramatically. Kids are mean, guys. Really mean. They hide behind whatever technology they can, and are overcome with invincible confidence, that gives them a sense of security to be able to say whatever they want. To whoever they want. They will target anyone behind that screen, or that phone. Or through that grapevine. They don't care. They enjoy the feelings they get with that kind of freedom they feel when they have seemingly no consequences and are "protected" by that technology. It's not okay. It's not acceptable.

Bullying in schools is a serious problem. It isn't becoming an issue. It's already here. Kids are dying.

Have you seen my sister?

She is tall and tan and beautiful. She is so smart and so hilarious. She is successful and friendly, and just a genuinely good person. 

She feels bullied at school. 

She feels excluded from cliques and groups. 

Boys won't date her. 

Girls won't talk to her. 

Rumors are all over about her. (none true, by the way.)

Why? They don't have a reason. A real or truthful one, anyway.

Bullying goes so far past malicious text messages, teasing someone for the way they are. Bullying is that lie you just told about the party that "isn't happening anymore", when really, you just don't want her to come anymore. Bullying is that rumor you just spread that's a total lie. Bullying is that rude look you just gave her for no reason. Bullying is closing your group of friends off, and not including others. Bullying is talking behind someone's back. 

I am absolutely beside myself with how far this has gone.

I feel like i'm just rambling now. Hopefully I've gotten my point across. I'm not really in the mood to proof read this either. This is so upsetting and heartbreaking.

I hope Bekki's story is able to bring light to this situation, especially in the hallways of high schools. I hope it opens the eyes of the kids that are causing these problems. I hope it makes them think twice about the way they are treating people. Because it's not okay, and it won't fly in the "real world". It's absolutely unacceptable. 

Read Kayla's thoughts on the issue here. I'm pretty sure her and her best friend, Dallas are playing/singing "Hear You Me" at Bekki's funeral tomorrow. It's the first song Bekki taught her brother, Ryker on the guitar, and so fitting. 

May angels lead you in, Miss Bekki.

Bekki and Ryker about 2 years ago